Today :) 8/7/13

A wise friend told me not to stress over "catching up" on the blog.  She said, just start from today!  That took some pressure off me!  Bryan has been really busy with work again, and has had some pretty big changes happening to his program.  He told me that he is having a hard time wanting to write.  He doesn't know why, because at first it was very therapeutic to write.  So, now you guys get to hear from me!  I am definitely to as eloquent, but I get the points across!

So, starting from today, we are finally in the hospital for Ainsley's third of four rounds of high dose methotrexate.  The common sided affects of methotrexate are mouth sores.  I'm not sure what is "normal", but she seems to get two or three bad mouth sores each treatment.  She has also complained of her legs aching.  I noticed that her right foot has started turning in much more than before.  The doctor says that the chemo can affect the muscle on the front of her leg, which then causes her foot to turn in and sometimes we might notice that she drags her feet.  I have been trying to help Ainsley stretch her legs and ankles and feet, so we can keep those muscles loose.

Bryan's mom, Sue, was able to be in town for this round of chemo.  We are SO grateful for all the sacrifices she and Terry, (Bryan's dad), have made!  Now that today, I have filled you all in, I will do another "catch up" post!  Ahhh.....  I feel so much less pressure!!!  Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support.  This is a long journey, and we SO appreciate every thought, and prayer!  Also, I would love to hear stories about how Ainsley's Army has given you strength.  If you have a story you would like to share, I would love to put it on the blog.  You can email me at btsmedley@gmail.com.  You put Ainsley's Army in the subject line!

I (Jenny), wrote this about a month after Ainlsey was diagnosed....

I have so many titles that could work perfectly for the feeling I have inside of me.  Here are a few to help you get a better idea of the week I have had!

"It's my way or the highway!"
"Count your blessings!"
"Padded room for one, please!"
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm SO sorry."
"Tomorrow is another day!"
"It's the small things."
"Angels on earth!"
"I think God was thinking of the wrong person when he sent this challenge our way!"
"Cancer affects us all."
"Thank heavens for Hudson!!!"
"Cancer sucks!!!"
"Ainsley is the bravest girl I know."

Tumultuous, in a word, is the feeling I have inside me.  I have felt like I have been failing, at every responsibility I have.  Thank heavens Becca was here for the beginning of the week, otherwise, I really may have needed a padded room!  She is so amazing at helping me see the positive in myself.  I know that my sweet HeavenlyI am quickly seeing how much cancer has affected our whole family.