My heart stopped.....

Last week, Ainsley's platelet count had been low.  It wasn't quite low enough for a transfusion but we were watching closely for severe bruising and petechia, which are little dots of bruising.  I had tried hard to do everything short from wrapping her in bubble wrap to keep her safe!  With her platelets low, it can be very dangerous if she were to hit her head, because it would be hard to stop any bleeding.  I could tell she wasn't feeling very well on Sunday.  She slept most of the day, didn't eat or drink very much and she was complaining  of stomach pain.  It progressively got worse as the evening went on.  I felt so helpless.  She would scream out in pain, and I didn't know how to help her.  Around 8:30, Ainsley's face went pale and I could tell she was going to throw up.  I dumped out the Halloween bucket and ran to her.  My heart stopped when I saw blood.  I started to scream for Bryan.  I was SO scared.  I think I was more afraid at that moment than ever before.

We called the doctor and he said to bring her in.  We called our sweet friend and neighbor, Robert and he came and helped Bryan give Ainsley a blessing.  Bryan and I were both crying but I felt so comforted by blessing.  I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows our needs and helps calm our fears.  I am also SO grateful for a husband who is worthy to give her a blessing.  This is what Bryan posted on Facebook.  

This is Bryan. We are so thankful for all of your prayers and the opportunity to give Ainsley a Priesthood blessing after she had thrown up a stomach full of blood. She and Jenny are finally sleeping. She is getting a platelet transfusion. Her hemoglobin (oxygen-carrying part of the blood) is low but stable enough for now. The blood in her vomit has stopped. I have never been so thankful to be puked on, because this last round got all over my shirt and was NOT bloody. I'm still wearing that vomit-covered shirt because I am so relieved that it is not blood. Miracles happen, we've witnessed one tonight. Some of the words of the blessing were: "We rebuke the Destroyer and command the bleeding to stop." I'm grateful that I was able to give my daughter a blessing when she needed it, and that within minutes of my call there was a fellow Priesthood holder (and dear friend) there to help. The power of the Priesthood, to act in God's name here on earth, is great. Not sure what tomorrow will bring, but so grateful to have these girls resting for now. The Savior healed when He was on the earth and He continues healing by the power of His Holy Priesthood today.

Robert stayed with the kids until our other amazing friend, Christy came and stayed the night.  We are blessed with amazing friends, who help at the drop of a hat!  The next morning, Christy got the girls off to school and another friend Mandy picked Hudson up and kept him for the day.  I am amazed at how well the girls did the next day.  We made sure to call the school to give the girls an update later in the day.  Their teachers knew about the circumstances and took good care of our girls!  They have such loving and amazing teachers!  

Once we arrived to the hospital, they checked her counts with a blood test.  Her platelets were still low and so they gave her a transfusion.  The next morning they told us that her hemoglobin was low too.  (Red blood cells)  So she received a blood transfusion too.  As soon as she got blood, I could tell she was starting to feel better.  She went from a pale gray, to a warm pink in skin tone.  They told us the bleeding was likely from a ulcer caused by the steroids she has been taking.  She now takes medicine daily to combat acid.  I am so grateful for AMAZING nurses and doctors who are for my girl!  I am also grateful for the love and prayers of so many.  We feel them and we are strengthened by those prayers.

             This was the day before we went to the hospital!  I love that my girls are so creative!

                                                    Ainsley receiving a blood transfusion.

                                                       The next day!  Hooray for blood!

Playroom fun!

The view from our room.  I love Oklahoma!

This is one of the games we play to pass time when we are in the hospital!  We walk ALOT of laps around the hospital halls! 

Ainsley has been doing well since we have been home.  I have kept her away from large groups of people and out of stores.  I am pretty nervous that she will get sick.  We go back on Wednesday to see if Ainsley's counts are high enough to start the next phase of treatment!  We are 9 months down in a 2 1/2 year journey!  Pretty crazy:)

Blessed (Written over the summer)

 Tonight I layed, snuggling with my Ainsley in her hospital bed.  (She is receiving her last high dose of methotrexate!)  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I rubbed her back, and massaged her achy legs.  I am just SO grateful to be her Mom.  Ainsley is such a brave little girl.  I am so grateful that she was given strong spirit!  I know she will beat this, but watching her suffer is so painful.  I wish I could take away her pain.  I love my little bestie!
  I am also so grateful for my not so little family.  I am blown away with how much each of the girls have grown and matured.  Comparing this year to last year is night and day.  Last year, school was such a source of anxiety and now, it is something they love.  They have had to face some tough challenges, and they have done amazing.  I am so proud of my big girls!  Mr. Hudson continues to be nothing but pure joy to our entire family.  My friend even thinks he gives the perfect courtesy laugh!  I just think he know how hilarious Bryan and I really are!  Let me not forget my amazing husband.  He is my best friend.  I cannot imagine going through this without him.  He has so much stress and pressure to deal with on a daily basis, and yet he continues to be a rock for our family.  I am such a lucky girl!
 

Jumping Hurdles!!! (This was written about 2 months ago:p)

Ainsley has really jumped some hurdles in the past few months!  The biggest hurdle, being able to take her medicine!  She is such a champ!  She talks through how the process will go.  Then she takes a few deep breathes, and tells me "It's no big whoop, right Mom!"  And I say, "Right, you got this!"  A few more deep breathes, and then she will plug her nose (cause that helps her not taste the pill:)  and viola!!!  Down the hatch it goes!  Now, it has not always been this smooth.  Taking her meds, has been one of Ainsley's greatest challenges.  At first it would easily take 30 minutes to get a pill in her.  There was lots of crying and screaming and throwing up.  (Then we would have to repeat the process:(   But over the past few months she has slowly realized her own strength!  Instead of 30 minutes, it was taking more like 10-15 minutes!  She is champion of changing the subject and trying to make me laugh so that she can hold off on taking her meds!  She also yawns a lot.  I think it is a nervous thing....  Now, she will say, "Let's just take my medicine now so I don't have to worry about it!"  She is such a strong and courageous little girl!

Ainsley has also moved on to the next phase of her treatment.  She is in interim maintenance.   She has had to get some pretty rough drugs:(  The side effects have been body aches, hair loss, puffiness, hunger, and roid rage.  The steroids are slowly leaving her system, so hopefully she will be feeling a little more in control in the coming week.  Over the next month, we will spend a lot of time at the hospital.  Thankfully, only one over night though!  My Dad is coming to help out next week and then Bryan's parents will be here for a little over a week.  I am so grateful for our sweet and supportive families!  Here are some pictures from the past few months!

                                                            Ainsley's favorite pizza!

                                                       Mommy and Ainsley being silly:)

                                                 Ainsley and Boden (Besties!!) at the zoo!

 A common scene at the hospital!  Bryan has been amazing with working, helping at the hospital and taking care of things at home!

Ainsley and I LOVE to play I spy to pass time at the hospital!  "I spy with my little eye...."

We also love to play in the sun room!  We play the "guess which animal I am" game!  Thanks to a sweet friend Cheryl for teaching us!